December 16, MMVII Loading IO.SYS... < Salute, pilots from Wing X, Wing Commander Angel, Commodore Darklord and last but not least Flight Officer Daniel Bonini >
Welcome to this, my twenty-second Weekly Report for my beloved Squadron, the mighty Cyclone, "The Demolition Crew". Yet another sloooow week here. But that doesn't mean we aren't doing anything, oh no!! Problem is that comparing an usual week with RtF chaos is like comparing our mighty ship with the Sov: while the first one is from the matter that dreams are made of the second one is just laaaaarge and booooring... xD Just kidding, just kidding, please don't toss me into court-martial. Well, the true facts are that our "Wind of Change" pilots are but very active nowadays and their Flight Leader assigned them a very special challenge for this month (read below) while LT Kate from the "Gale Providers" is doing her best in behalf of the Tactical Office not only testing some stuff as a TCS but also making some missions herself! Can't wait to fly her new stuff! :-D On the bad side of the CMDR's crystal ball we had a pilot AWOLed this week and Colonel Maverick, Flight III Leader, just requested a LoA until next month due to Xmas time constraints. Obviously not so bad as the AWOL thing since everybody here is free to request a LoA whenever he/she wants but... we love Mav, don't we?!! :D ... Ok, don't answer that one... So here I go with further nonsenses for you to suffer...
How to do it you say? Well, look HERE and you'll find my own INPR. Read it carefully... and then write just the opposite on yours. Because you don't want to end your days here under my same condition, do you? ^_^u One thing's for sure: all new INPRs will appear on next "The Dark Sentinel" issue (our own EH newsletter) and since we haven't seen one of those since... 2005 or so, it will be splendid!! If we live long enough to see it, of course... xD
TIE-TC 235 : Special Ops So there you have something useful to do with your lives! Fly them!!! If you don't do it quick when you'll go for them you'll find there are more... and MORE... AND MORE!!! And one day you'll find that you have about 3,800 missions there pending to fly. It happened to me once although I already fixed it! (And now I'm still trying to get my sanity back) >:)
And if you lack any video-making knowledge either start learning NOW or join my club and start crying for not being capable of helping your Fleet this way. Someone out there will get such honour and you won't be that one. Crying like a sissy is mandatory... :___(
( Spoiler!! Spoiler!! They say that if you start sending GA Astatine, Fleet Commander and ALSO Fleet Systems Engineer, several bags of Imperial Peanuts® sooner or later the TC database will start failing on your side and you can have even Gold Stars for free! Worth a try? xD )
Cyclone Pilot of December '07 - January '08 LCM Vertigo - 98 missions Cyclone Student of December '07 - January '08 LCM Vertigo - 3 IWATS Courses A little HS for a Cyclonite, a major hit against the NR punks! (December '07) Aha! At last here you are MY scores for those 4 FREE missions. If you manage to beat any of these you'll have additional shinies. It's a promise! Mainly because if I don't award those the Training Officer kills me... :P TIE-FREE 117 : 90918 But remember you can also have additional IS-BWs if you beat the former HS owners, and here you are all the suspects: TIE-FREE 117 : COL Astarosta - 66228 Then again, even when I start recieving your submissions I won't show you here the scores from your entries. Why? Well, because I don't want you to go mad trying to beat your mates flying the same stuff again and again and again and wasting time on it when we you could be doing something useful like... like... oh... (*tumbleweed passing by*) Don't waste your time, damnit! Just fly the best you can and I'll release all results at the end of the month. ^_^u II.a) Squadron Competitions
II.b) Wing / Ship Competitions
II.c) Emperor's Hammer / TIE Corps / TC Battlegroups Competitions Oh! Oh my good Lord!! But if I'm going to repeat some TC site info here. Please, have mercy!! :-P
III.) No activity?!! You're in the Eye of the Cyclone, by Palpatine's sake! You should be at least dying! III.a) Transfers / Promotions/ Awards / Bribes
1-1 MAJ Zósite Kónstyte Styles
1-2 LT Cochala
2-1 LCM Vertigo
III.b) General Activity and other dreams alike ( Notation:
1-1 MAJ Zósite Kónstyte Styles
1-2 LT Cochala
1-3 LT Lvpps
1-4 CPT Bjorn Wolfblade
2-1 LCM Vertigo
2-2 LCM Verde
2-3 LT Brian Klem
2-4 LT Akur
3-1 COL Maverick
3-2 LT Katherine Cantor Flyer
IV.) Do it or DO IT. Don't even dare to try! (aka. Squadron Standing Orders)
Note on order 4: if you can't actually realize this IS NOT a RL way to go you should request transfer to the Sov or something... ¬_¬
V.) Someone flew over the Ewok's Nest (aka. Commander's Corner)
Sometimes we, the loyal and skillful TIE Corps pilots, realize there're other things to do out there for the sakes of the Fleet apart from our classic activity towards our Squadron/Wing/Ship. And then we just forget about to avoid further mind damage... Oh well, give me another try... Sometimes we actually go for it and get an additional job to further punish ourselves while we see our IDline growing. One of such tasks is the TCS (Tactical Surveyor) job for the Tactical Office, as a member of the VSD Sinister crew. As a TCS your task is mainly to wait there for the cruel happy TACcy to assign you new battles and missions to test hunting for bugs, impossible objectives, swearing, ominous plots to control minds of those playing them, ominous plots to make people playing them to be lobotomized and other nasties alike. When our work is done we're supposed to submit a detailed report in order for the battle/mission to be fixed before releasing it to those poor souls (aka. rest of the Fleet) for they to play them. Ok, maybe you already knew all this. But please let me make your lives miserable yet a little more with some nice picture of how it would be to combine TCS and CMDR jobs at the same time. ^_^u So here we are at Victory-class Star Destroyer Sinister, home of the Tactical Office and Admiral Dempsey's Flying Asylum®. Major Zósite, The Wicked CMDR of Cyclone but also one of those crappy TCSers, was assigned to test a new battle some days ago so he left his Squadron in those capable hands of Colonel Maverick and Lt. Commander Vertigo, his Flight Leaders, (he still wonders if there will be still a ship when he returns) and arrived the Sinister where he was quickly enclosed in a flight-simulator capsule with the only company of a rotten piece of bread and a glass of wa... well, it was going to be water but when he menaced the TAC crew with starting making missions himself they provided him a decent amount of booze so at least we know he won't die too soon. Now he seems to be very busy with his testing... <MAJ Zós> Hell!! Those wingmen were supposed to help me! Not to hyper out when the first Rebel was vaped! Aaaargh!! And I have to test this crap on Hard... Oh, well... at least there are no additional enemy caps except those 2 Corvettes there because I'm flying a T/I and... Wait!! What's that?!! A Calamari Cruiser launching from... A CONTAINER?!!! o__Ou But then his commlink requires his attention too. Incoming call from Colonel Angel, Wing X Commander. <COL Angel> Zós!! Do you have a minute? <MAJ Zós> Well, Sir, actually I'm... <COL Angel> Great! Where's supposed to be your last WSR? <MAJ Zós> I already told you I'll submit it as soon as I return to the Chal. I must finish this TCS assignment for... <COL Angel> For tomorrow, Zós. I want it on my desk for tomorrow or you better get yourself some cloak device for your MIS to cheat Chal's laser batteries on your returning. >:-| <MAJ Zós> Acknowledged, Sir... for tomorrow... (*sigh*) But let's return with the simulation test... is that a "Mission Lost" screen or the computer is just happy to see us? <MAJ Zós> Aaaaargh!!! Noooo! Dead! And now I must start it all again with no cheats... :___D Ok, let's see... Stupid wingmen... incoming fighters featuring adv. missiles... 2 Corvettes... CRS from a container... what else? Mmmm... funny, some smurfhead gave those caps starship orders and now they're chasing me... WHAT THE?! Damn!! One of them just rammed a critical container turning like a crazy top and mission can't be completed! %$·¬~³‡Üº± And then the commlink again. Incoming call from LCM Vertigo, Cyclone Flight II Leader. <MAJ Zós> Roooargh! And the "pause mission" feature won't work. The Admiral destroyed such control when she realized we used it to have a sleep into the cockpit every now and then. :__| <LCM Vertigo> Hey, Sir!! I'm calling you because I'm missing some pilot files here (about 120 of them) and I was wondering if you have seen them around so I can... <MAJ Zós> NO!!! And... let me think about... NO!!!! The only pilot file which matters for me now is due for tomorrow. It won't be done. And it will be your fault. And when I get trouble from one of my pilots' fault I start awarding volatile things all around, you know... ~>:-| <LCM Vertigo> Errrr... they must be around. I'll keep searching. Thank you, Sir. :P Back to the simulation... <MAJ Zós> Dead... DEAD!!! Vaped once again, curse the trojans... So here we go, AGAIN; wingmen, cowards... psychopaths with adv. surprises looking for my skin... wishbones providing hell... flying monsters launching from food supplies... and then coming for me, why not? But this time you won't ram that container if I can avoid it I tell you!!! MWHAHAHA!!! ... And now I'm supposed to wait for that friendly VSD to appear. Ok, let's see... 10 minutes later... <MAJ Zós> ... (:-F ... 20 minutes later... <MAJ Zós> ... :|-O---- ... 30 minutes later... <MAJ Zós> ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz............. Incoming call. Lieutenant Akur, Cyclone 2-4. <MAJ Zós> What? When?! WHY?!! O__0 <LT Akur> Hey, Major!!! I did it!!! I fixed my commlink and now I can at least communicate! I'll be flying again in no time you'll see. Isn't it wonderful? :D <MAJ Zós> I'm in ecstasy... <LT Akur> Ummm... I better send my status report to Lt. Commander Vertigo instead. ^_^U <MAJ Zós> Wise approach... ~>|:-6 And Zósite grabs the flight controls again, only to see the mission was lost 10 mins. ago. The VSD arrived indeed, and it launched its fighters to annihilate the remaining rebels. But the mindless mission creator set those fighters' speed to 0 and they crashed into the VSD hangar making it to meet its doom. Do you know about "Conditions to prevent" thingy? There you go... <MAJ Zós> Where was that "HDFORMAT" command again... :___L Aaaaaand, guess what!! Exactly! Incoming call. Colonel Maverick, Cyclone Flight III Leader, this time. <MAJ Zós> W-What is it, Colonel... >:___D <COL Mav> Z-Zoooosh... I-I'm at theehehehe C-Canthinaah and... <MAJ Zós> And? What is the big surprise? <COL Mav> I-I neeeed yourh heeeelp here. Somethiingh t-terrible hasshh happenedd!! (*hic*) <MAJ Zós> Terrible you say? What is it? Is the Challenge being attacked? Are our flags well? Do you need me there? :_O <COL Mav> Errrr... dunno... but anywaysss... phroblem is I... I c-can't fffindh the exit... @:|-D Wooould youh beeh so kiind...? But Zósite is not hearing anymore. He just gets his reglamentary blaster and shots the commlink. Then shots the flight controls, the screen and finally the door. And emerges from the simulator cockpit... After some minutes of wandering the Sinister's corridors he sees High Admiral Frodo March, Research Officer of The Emperor's Hammer but also Tactical Officer Assistant, coming towards him. <HA Frothy> Hey, Zós! How is it going? You already finished testing that battle? <MAJ Zós> N-No, Sir... and I doubt I will take it again before Tatooine gets frozen. -__-U <HA Frothy> What!! You underperforming on your TCS job, Zós? You truly disappoint me!! You're only a Squadron Commander, COO Assistant and IWATS Professor in addition to that. Look at me! I'm the damned RO and also TACA! And I do my job by the book. Do you think a CMDR should have more time constraints than me?! But if you only have to manage a bunch of crazy pilots. Myself though... <MAJ Zós> ... ~>º-F ... One day later, at the ISD Challenge hangar bay, Cyclone Squadron is ready to launch in a new escort mission for the Flight Officer (did I mention that Cyclone is nowadays the "TCCOM's Own" in this report? There you go! xD). But when they're almost ready to depart Major Zósite inside his Missile Boat cockpit gets communication from the TCCOM himself. <MAJ Zós> Yes, Sir? Any problems there? <AD Dan> Ummm... something strange is happening with my craft... <MAJ Zós> Oh my!! Don't tell me somebody sabotaged the "Astra Fighter" yet again! <AD Dan> Not sure... the ion engines are working weird. They don't stop doing a horrible noise today and I can't turn them to full throttle. Besides... ?!!! Wait!! What's... THAT?! o___O <MAJ Zós> What, Sir? ^_^U <AD Dan> I'm starting to hear voices here inside my cockpit I tell you and... and... t-the engines have just expelled an High Admiral rank badge!! :___D <MAJ Zós> Maybe just some little technical issue. Shall we launch now, Sir? ^_^ VI. Who's who on demolishing bussiness (aka. FCHG and Combat Ratings)
Gladiator [GLDR] (4500 points) & Jedi 4th (500 points) [5148] & [503] MAJ Zósite Kónstyte Styles No rank (0 points) & Trainee (1 point) [2] & [2] LT Lvpps Grenadier (10 points) & Marksman 4th (10 points) [24] & [11] CPT Bjorn Wolfblade Tesserarius [TSRS] (1000 points) & No rank (0 points) [1222] & [0] LCM Vertigo Gallant [GALL] (200 points) & No rank (0 points) [235] & [0] LCM Verde Hussar [HUSS] (50 points) & No rank (0 points) [65] & [0] LT Brian Klem No rank (0 points) & No rank (0 points) [0] & [0] LT Akur Legionnaire [LGNR] (400 points) & Certified (5 points) [425] & [6] COL Maverick Dragoon [DRAG] (100 points) & Trainee (1 point) [135] & [2] LT Katherine Cantor Flyer VII.) It's like playing Twister but... (aka. Squadron Roster & Citations) W-What?! You want me to paste here the Squadron Roster? Why?! You have it in the TC site... But! But!...
CYCLONE SQUADRON OF WING X : Heavy Assault FLIGHT I - MISSILE BOAT
What? NO?!! (*sigh*) Ok... Ok... I got it... CYCLONE SQUADRON OF WING X : Heavy Assault FLIGHT I - MISSILE BOAT FLIGHT II - TIE ADVANCED FLIGHT III - TIE DEFENDER Squadron Citations (4): Respectfully NUTS in service:
CMDR-COOA-TCS-PROF/MAJ Zosite Konstyte Styles/Cyclone/Wing X/ISD Challenge "There's good. And there's evil. And it's the Orde what make us capable of differentiate between them. So, don't bother me judging my actions; if they're good or evil. I'm above both. I serve that ORDER."
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